


this love is worth the fight

by weonderlust



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (but with context), Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Renjun has daddy issues, Underage Drinking, basically: 00 line is rich and lucas is in a band, for like. a minute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 04:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20989169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weonderlust/pseuds/weonderlust
Summary: Fact: Soulmates are real.Reason: No one knows.Theory: Soulmatery began way, way,wayback to the creation of humans—to when Prometheus stole fire from the Gods.(Alternatively, Renjun doesn’t believe in soulmates; Lucas is his.)





	this love is worth the fight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoeunki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeunki/gifts), [ninthdreamie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninthdreamie/gifts).

> moodboard: “afterglow” by taylor swift (also where the title is from).
> 
> a special thank you to deni and erika for always reassuring me that i’m a good writer—even when i don’t believe it myself.
> 
> (not beta-ed, we die like men.)

_Fact_: Soulmates are real.

_Reason_: No one knows.

_Theory_: Soulmatery began way, way, _way_ back to the creation of humans—to when Prometheus stole fire from the Gods. With fire, mere humans made of clay had begun to think and create and feel and dream and _hope_—opening up closed doors, letting chances that were never given in the first place in, for the Gods were too vulnerable, too cowardly, too _safe_. Their next mistake was being too inattentive—that by the time they had realized what was happening, a whole new domain had wrought below them, just under their noses.

_Theory_: Frightened by the wrath of the Gods, the loss of fire, the loss of what gave them the ascendancies of life—the humans made the decision to bury some of the blaze in their hearts. Years later, the fire finds a way to light up, like fate, and people saw that as a sign of concluding they had found _The One_, as their hearts would only glow with the right people at the right time.

_Theory_: Lord Zeus was the one who punished humans in London, 1666. Fire, fire, _fire_—that’s what humans wanted, what they were desirous of.

But.

_Fact_: Humans are resilient.

_Reason_: They have fire in their hearts.

✰

Huang Renjun’s friends all have a reputation for having grand birthday parties.

For every birthday, for every year since their names are grasped by the whispers that echo in the cities, their names trend on social media. Their faces—from the morning they wake up on said day to the evening where the party of the century is held—are plastered on the news and gossip websites. Their clothes, their make-up, their jewellery, the _who slept with who _accusations and the _model Lee Taeyong was there, too?! _are the only things babbled about for weeks.

_South Korea’s top socialites never fail to have the biggest, craziest, loudest party of the year_, the headline would say on those tabloid websites, and then the next day everything fades… well, for them—the only aftermaths are gossip news and Na Jaemin snoring on the couch in Renjun’s condominium.

Jaemin, the only heir to one of the biggest privately-owned hospitals in South Korea and rumoured to be the next CEO once he graduates, had his 9th birthday party in Prague. His mother is a well-known surgeon and neurologist, and although he’s not a _celebrity_ per say, he’s been Renjun’s best friend for as long as he could remember and people gossip about him on a daily basis.

(Can’t miss a pretty face in this industry, even when you’re not _from_ the industry.)

When he turned nine, Jaemin was still too young to care about being the only successor, worrying instead about how careless Renjun had been when he scraped his knee against a washed-up log when they were running on the beach. His mother had booked an entire cinema for him, and he invited his classmates and was particularly _excited_ about the large chocolate fountain Mama Na had gifted him, placed in the middle of their high ceiling studio apartment—like it belonged there, natural and not out of place.

Another friend of his was Lee Jeno whose 16th birthday bash was at a ski resort. Renjun remembered that he had politely asked to only invite his closest friends—including Jaemin, of course—and asked for a night away from his parents—_just this once, please?_ Renjun remembered tasting soju for the first time that night and immediately throwing that shit away (How could adults tolerate _that_?).

The _hows _to Jeno’s world and his colliding—he doesn’t remember. He only remembered being invited to a lot of movie premieres as Jeno’s plus-one. He’s been with him since Jeno’s first debut in the movie industries—the latter was barely eight and had played the younger brother of a prince in that movie. Now, Jeno is a successful model and actor, nominated for this year’s Best Male Actors in the _Go Up!_ Awards, and is one of Renjun’s closest friends.

When Renjun turned eighteen, all he wanted was to go to Palawan, Philippines. A break away from the cities and the never-ending gossips in the always murmuring crowds. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up to the beautiful blue sky and the serene sound of the ocean waves and not worry for a second about what the news outlets are saying about him—

_the son of _HUANG._/he’s going to be CEO?/he doesn’t look the part/pah! He’s not Lee Donghyuck/I heard he’s majoring in Art instead/what a silly boy/his father cheated on his mother/he’s not good enough/_HUANG._ would be gone under him/he— _

His wish had been granted. He wakes up at 12 AM to his friends shoving a freshly made cake (strawberry—sweet, sweet, _sweet_) on his face. The sounds of ocean waves masking their laughter.

Then, on June 6, two significant things had come his way. Two events Renjun can’t undo, can’t change, because the universe allows Prometheus to steal fire, allows people to have soulmates with no reasons as to _why_, but can’t allow Renjun to turn back in time.

One being that his best friend, Lee Donghyuck, has turned nineteen.

Donghyuck is everyone’s favourite It Boy. The angel-faced and pride of the ever prestigious luxury good makers company _LEE._ which focuses on jewellery—the prettiest of all and the ones that gets asked questions by interviewers when celebrities wear them—will be the upcoming CEO for said company, following in his father’s footsteps. Both he and Renjun are sons to the biggest companies for luxury good makers but the universe is kind enough for them to be best friends.

In another world, they would have been rivals. Renjun doesn’t like that thought.

Under the dark violet lights, Renjun can already see Donghyuck from across the ballroom. He’s wearing a shimmery silver tux and had chosen to wear glasses, the one with thin frames. As Renjun comes closer, smiling politely to the other socialites who greet him as he makes his way (it’s a mistake to make enemies in this part of the city, in this industry), he sees pieces of the 4.23-carat fancy pink emerald cut diamond branded on each side of the glasses—a classic from _LEE._’s autumn collection last year.

He’s also wearing the same bracelet made up of rubber bands they had found in their summer home in Japan, when they were eight and had an adventure rummaging through the drawers in the kitchen. Renjun loves how he takes pride in that.

“Happy birthday, sunshine,” Renjun says and smiles, polite enough to also acknowledge the person Donghyuck was talking to. He doesn’t want to end up in the tabloids next to the bolded words _RUDE_. His father is already giving him hell as it is.

Tabloids are expired whipped cream on a rotting cake.

“Renjunnie,” Donghyuck says, in that dreamy way that people on Twitter goes mad for. The person smiles before leaving. A friend of a friend, Renjun guesses.

Donghyuck’s 19th birthday party has been the loudest amongst his friends. Jeno had always opted for private ones and Renjun had promised to spent his celebration in Japan with his mother. If he could choose a word from a dictionary to describe Donghyuck’s party, it would be _loud_.

Of course—it’s Las Vegas. What else screams It Boy Lee Donghyuck turning nineteen than bright and colourful Las Vegas?

Donghyuck’s parents had chosen a private club—an associate, an act of _friendship_, strictly business from another point of view—for their prince and although no alcohol was passed around, Renjun is sure he’s drunk on all the laughing he shared with his friends.

Now, however, his headache is infuriating. It throbs to the rhythm of the last music played in the private club before they were ushered to the hotel ballroom located behind the club by entourages for the after-party.

Donghyuck had only invited close socialites, some for business, others for show and they were all dressed in their best suits and gowns, giggling over April nights in Europe. The chandeliers glow in different colours above them and the wallpapers of the room are covered by long, flowy white clothes—purpled from the light emitting in the walls. A waiter passes by, and Renjun grabs one glass and takes a sip—_apple juice_.

_I Wanna Dance with Somebody_ by Whitney Houston is playing.

“Where’s the music you hired?” Renjun asks, taking another sip of the apple juice in an attempt to drown his headache.

“They’ll show up at nine,” Donghyuck checks his Rolex wristwatch before eyeing him up and down. “Nice suit.”

Renjun is wearing a midnight green suit, and from their newest Summer collection: Emerald Drop earrings. His stylists had tailored the suit to perfection (because he’s a _Huang_, and even if his father doesn’t like him, he has a name to uphold—his father’s), and the earrings belonged to his mother.

“Thanks,” another sip, “What’s the name of this group again?”

“_Band_,” Donghyuck corrects and Renjun rolls his eyes, “They’re called _Vision!_, you know, with the exclamation mark and all.”

Renjun snorts, “Never heard of them.”

The birthday boy looks mildly offended. “Oh my God, do you live under a fuckin’ _rock_ or something.”

It’s not a question, it’s a playful accusation and Renjun answers by laughing.

Mark Lee comes sauntering from behind him. Mark, also known as the Boy who Can Do Anything (an actual headline by one of the tabloids that popped out one morning in November last year when he won a _Go Up! _award for Best Song Writer), is dressed up in a maroon suit and his hair is styled sleeked back. The thing about Mark is that he has won countless of other awards from the music to the movie industry, never failing to surprise both crowds and is a great asset to the entertainment industry as a whole. No wonder directors and upcoming music agencies are always requesting for him.

“Hey, babe,” he presses a kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek, “_Vision!_ is ready backstage,” he winks, before pressing knuckles against Renjun’s, “How you been, my man?”

“Nothing much,” Renjun tells half a truth.

“Okay, _okay_. Thank you for telling me,” Donghyuck kisses him softly, before glaring at Renjun. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ move. I can’t believe you don’t know who _Vision!_ is. A shame.”

“Not all of us have your _unique _music taste, Hyuck.”

When he leaves to head backstage, there’s a stupid, goofy smile on Mark’s face. Renjun is reminded that this is his best friend’s soulmate.

He looks away.

✰

_Fact_: Renjun doesn’t believe in soulmates.

✰

The headache is still there, numb, but there. He wants to leave, go home, take a warm bath and slip into bed, wearing his favourite silk pyjamas. But it’s Donghyuck’s birthday and he has to be with him. Plus, Mark is currently telling a hilarious paranormal experience he had the other night back in Budapest last month, when it was actually just Jeno.

He’s at the part where he almost gave Jeno a concussion with a fire extinguisher when the lights dim and everyone’s focus goes onto the stage. The host goes on and on about a rising band, talented musicians and pretty faces.

Renjun kind of dozes a little. Those kind of things are not new, to him or to the industry. Donghyuck comes back to them, a smile on his face and he’s waiting for Renjun’s reaction—he won’t leave until he gains something.

“…here they are: _Vision!_”

The crowd cheers, and two, three… four gorgeous men dressed up as something out of Jeno’s e-boy Pinterest board come out from backstage. They’re going for the same theme: black and white and chains. The light changes to a mellow green colour. One of them looks very… familiar. Like a word on his tongue that he can’t remember, a hum to a song he knows way back when he was in high school. He squints—he forgot to wear his contacts today and his headache is not helping him.

“I’m Kun, pretty leader _and_ pretty singer,” _Kun _starts and there are already whistles thrown at him. His voice _is_ pretty. His hair is most likely brown but under the green lights coupled with Renjun’s horrible eyesight, it’s more of a grey tone, “_These_ two right here…” he gestures to the strawberry blonde one and the Prince Eric look-alike, “are Yangyang and Hendery, the guitarists—single and swings both ways—” Kun winks and the crowd laughs. Donghyuck jabs at him in the ribs and Renjun rolls his eyes at him, “—and finally, behind me, yes, ladies I know you’ve been eyeing him…”

Wait.

Wait.

_Wait_.

“…is our one and only drummer, Lucas,” he ends their little introduction with a smirk, voice low and everyone in the ballroom shrieks. The throbbing in Renjun’s head is hitting against his brain ferociously, and it hurts.

He doesn’t realize he’s breathing too fast until Donghyuck looks at him worryingly.

No.

This cannot be real.

Renjun’s heart clenches. His breath hitches and his chest tightens. His brain is telling him to do one thing: _run_. He needs to get out. Now, now, _now_.

He turns around, ignoring the distinct voices of Mark and Donghyuck. He pushes everyone out of the way, promising to apologize later, and stumbles out of the hall. A small part of burden is lifted up from his shoulder when he sees no paparazzi are around. He can’t put up a façade right now, but he doesn’t want to end up trending on _Go Up! _News the next morning.

Renjun runs down the hallway. Donghyuck’s and Mark’s calls for him are blending in with the voices in his head, and the ugliest of memories resurfaced. Not wanting to deal with the consequences of toppling into a lobby full of interviewers and paparazzi, he turns right and opens the first door—it’s empty, _thank God_.

He counts to fifty.

After a while, he steps into the bathroom, hesitant to open the lights but does so, anyways. He unbuttons the white button-shirt under his suit with shaky hands, and releases a long sigh.

After so many years, he still remembers the feeling of a glowing heart.

Two significant things had come his way. The second was meeting his soulmate.

✰

Renjun is four when he accidentally knocks down Papa Na’s files. He was only trying to a good hiding place—he didn’t mean to mess things up.

Biting his finger nails, he grabs the fallen papers with his free hand and stacks them as nicely as he can on the floor next to the desk. He can’t reach the top of Papa Na’s desk, yet. It’s too tall. Jeno might, but that’s because he cheats and climbs up.

Oh, wait. He’s supposed to be hiding. He can’t lose to Jeno in hide-and-seek.

Renjun crawls under the desk, fitting perfectly and suppresses a giggle. He’ll be the last to be found! He’ll win again!

But then, the words on the paper he’s stacked just a few minutes ago catches his eye.

_Soulmatery: The Study of Fate_, it says.

Soulmates? Jaemin talks about it, sometimes.

_chest glows… encounter… cognitive processes… true emotions…_

“What?”

Too many new words. He has to ask Mama Na about this.

“Found you!” Jeno says from above the desk. See? He cheats—climbing up. He’s dangling directly above Renjun, and the latter laughs because he looks funny. He turns his focus back on the papers.

“Jeno, what does these mean?”

“Oh?” he looks down before widening his eyes comically. He jumps down and Renjun envies the strength in his legs (“That’s what I have to prepare for, Renjun! I’m going to act in a Superhero movie when I’m old enough, so I have to be strong!”). “Mama Na says that when you meet your soulmate, your chest glows. It’s like your heart catches on fire!”

“Why?” Renjun starts to tear up, “Why would anyone want their hearts on fire?”

“No, dummy! It’s because your heart is very happy! The world turns brighter!”

“…but _why_?”

“Too many questions,” Jeno pouts, “Let’s go find Nana.”

(In the end, he doesn’t mind being found first. Mama Na explains what soulmates are to him when they’re eating tteokbokki after the game.)

✰

“Is he in there?” a muffled voice came from outside the door and Renjun begrudgingly makes his way towards it, not caring to put on his suit again.

When he looks at his wrist watch, it’s quarter past midnight. He takes the 7% chance that no flashing cameras are waiting for him outside.

Plus, Jaemin is here. _Finally_.

Renjun desperately needs a hug.

“Yeah, I heard him crying,” Donghyuck replies, the same worrying tone laced with every words.

Renjun takes in a deep breath, unconsciously looking at himself in the wide mirror on the wall on the room. His make-up is ruined and his button-up shirt is crinkled.

In one universe, he would not have friends like these—they would be his rivals and he’d be alone in his father’s mansion, reading up about _party of the year: Lee Donghyuck, prince of LEE., invites _Vision! on the _Go Up! _News the next morning.

In another universe, he would have been more guarded: not letting the appearance of a person he avoided since high school to break his walls down to the point where he’s crying and stumbling out of a ballroom and into a vacant hotel room in Las Vegas.

Maybe in one other universe, his father would love his mother to the very end and Renjun would accept Soulmatery as it is—

But.

_Fact_: He is in _this_ universe.

and

_Fact_: This universe is not kind.

“Renjun,” Jeno’s voice is unruffled and collected, and Renjun wishes he knew what he did to get friends like these. “We want to come in. Is that okay with you?”

A pause.

Renjun unlocks the door.

They don’t come in all at once. Jaemin starts, taking big steps to reach him faster and wraps his arms around him. Renjun allows himself to relax. Jaemin pulls away, and Jeno comes up to rub at his arms. They both look dead, having to just land in Seoul after a twelve-hour flight all the way from Paris.

The thought of them rushing here instead of resting just to comfort Renjun…

(_Fact_: This universe is kind _enough_.)

“Are you okay now?”

Renjun is incredibly grateful for his friends. In this world, in his world—you’ll get eaten up without a true friend. Rumours and lies and all the backstabbing piles up like mould and it will rot, the stench following you for the rest of your life. The whispered conversations, the mean comments under articles. Your name floating here and there within the slumps. He’s _young_. He’s young enough to understand, and young enough to be vulnerable.

In this world, you must have a true friend.

Renjun has his friends to back him up.

He’s lucky—

(_lucky that your father owns/lucky that you’re born with a golden spoon in your mouth/lucky you got into university without suffering like the rest of us/I bet you sleep around/with all that money/you’re lucky/lucky I’m nice enough to break your pretty face/lucky/lucky_—)

“Renjun?”

Donghyuck has his eyebrows furrowed and Jaemin has lines on his forehead. Jeno’s eyes are blank. He doesn’t realize it at first but Mark is leaning against the closed door.

_Answer them, damn it_. “I’m okay now.”

Jaemin beams, but his smile doesn’t look genuine. “You gave all of us a fright.”

Renjun tries for a smile. If he focuses hard enough, he could listen to their thoughts: _what happened back there, Renjun? Why did you run? Did you cry? Tell us_.

“How about we get ice cream instead? Or pizza? My treat,” Mark suggests, grinning and Renjun feels relief washing over him.

Donghyuck turns around to face Mark, “It’s way past midnight.”

“And that’s when the cameras are _asleep_.”

“He’s right,” Jeno comments, “not entirely but he’s kind of right. If we sneak through the emergency exit stairs, they wouldn’t notice we’re gone. They’ll probably think we’re up partying.”

“_Ugh_,” Jaemin’s nose crinkles. “Did they forget that we’re university students who need sleep?”

“So… pizza?” Donghyuck asks, smiling cheekily.

“Ice cream,” Jeno answers.

“How about both?” Mark proposes, already turning the door knob open.

Letting out a shaky breath, Renjun tries for a smile, “Okay. But um, I’ll meet you guys in 10 minutes? I need to do something first.”

There’s a flash of worry on all their faces but they trust him so they let him go.

✰

It’s a stupid decision.

This impulsiveness—the trait that he probably inherited from his mother—leads him to making ridiculous decisions, sometimes. He’s always been careful because of it—a smile, a curt wave, concealer under the eyes and over spots. No speaking of any topics that would arise in rumours; nothing out of his mouth that could come back to bite him in the back.

Renjun knows this and yet…

Instead of heaving down the end of the hallway and down the emergency exit stairs to meet up with friends who are already there like _planned_, he makes a detour and heads back inside the ballroom where the party is still alive and the music is loud enough to hear the _thump, thump, thump _of the music directly outside. A few people have stayed and the bar is still open but otherwise, it’s mostly empty—as empty as this industry could get, anyways.

All he wants in closure, he reasons, eyes darting immediately to the stage.

He frowns when he sees no member of _Vision! _anywhere in the room.

Maybe if he sees him one more time, and tell him _no, this is not what I want_, then he’ll go through life without knowing he has been fatefully tied to his soulmate, and that his love story had been prearranged by the universe.

Someone bumps into him unkindly. Renjun turns around to apologize (careful: no enemies should be made), the _Sorry_ dies in his throat.

Wong Lucas is standing close and existing and here. As in, _here_. He’s not wearing the e-boy outfit anymore and he had his make-up removed because the eyeliner is gone and the red eyeshadow has faded from his lids.

Renjun doesn’t know what to say.

So, Lucas does it for him. “Hello.”

“Uh, hello.”

Lucas laughs, breathy and nervous. Something twists in Renjun’s guts.

Slowly, he forces his legs to head for the couch area and grabs a drink from the tray of the passing waiter (another impulsive act). He drowns the apple juice. One glass after the other. After his third glass, Lucas sits on the adjacent sofa across him.

Renjun pulls out his phone, sending an _I’m OK_ message and that he _doesn’t feel well enough for pizza or ice cream or both_ to his friends. He gets a _Feel better soon!_ from Jaemin and emoticons from the others.

Another waiter passes by the couch area, probably the same one, he can’t tell.

Minutes have passed and he drinks again and again and again. Everything is fuzzy. The anxiousness in his heart… is there but it’s numb, almost disappearing. He feels a little disoriented.

It’s not an abrupt change but it’s still startling. He feels… composed? Lucas—the person he’s always avoided since graduation—is right here, typing away on his phone. He looks nervous. Renjun is sure he would be the one who’s nervous between the both of them.

Instead, he feels settled. Complete. Like he’s done his assignment a week earlier and he wouldn’t have to cram it, or he’s just woken up to the smell of his mother’s cooking and his father is out for the weekend, or he’s about to take a well-deserved nap.

“Hey,” he starts, finding confidence as seconds tick by. The apple juice tastes sharp on his tongue. Lucas looks up and oh, oh, _oh_, he’s handsome. He’s always been handsome, since their high school days, but he’s grown into his features. Under the low light, he’s glowing and his lips are the prettiest shade of pink. “When did… you know… you and _Vision! _happened?”

Lucas smiles gently like he’s a childhood friend and not a soulmate to him. “A month into freshman year of college, I think. Found these really cool people who loved music the way I did and now, we’re here. I didn’t think I would meet you again.”

“Liar,” he scowls. Everyone knows he and his friends are attached to the hips—the younger elites of South Korea, the core four, the ones who actually built a friendship instead making one up for image.

The drummer puts his hands up, chuckling, “You got me. When I heard we were going to play for the prince of _LEE._, I knew you were going to be here. I missed you, Renjun.”

Renjun blanks before taking another glass from a nearby tray. This apple juice is really delicious. He finds his shoulders droop at every sip. Funny. He should ask Margo to get him this brand for breakfast.

“So, how are you?” Lucas asks and he leans forward, yet polite. His eyelids have the glitter residue from the make-up. “Your father…?”

“That’s a touchy subject,” Renjun says, a little too quickly, a little too defensive. He flinches.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him up,” Lucas apologizes and it’s genuine. He’s never one to hurt anyone, and Renjun thinks he could forgive himself if he fell for him back in high school.

The image of his father flashes in his head.

“Well, since you already did—he’s still a piece of shit.”

Lucas clicks his tongue, “Ah.”

Renjun’s heartbeat is steady. So, _so_ steady. “I’m bored.”

“Where are your friends…?”

“Out to get pizza. Or ice cream,” he giggles, “Both, I think.”

Then, a shiver runs down his spine. He’s feeling a lot braver now. He can’t even recall the reason he cried an hour ago. His body is under the amethyst lights but his mind is somewhere on a tropical island. Warm sand under his feet and sunlight pouring on his skin, his bones feeling less heavy.

(_Fact_: Renjun has low tolerance for alcohol

and

_fact_: the bar does _not_ serve apple juice after midnight.)

“Hey, Lucas,” he purrs and stands up before sitting on his lap. Lucas’ eyes widen and his hands are frozen, unsure what is happening. “Wanna have fun?”

“I’m very… confused, right now, but sure?”

“Kiss me.”

Lucas would have stood up if Renjun didn’t pin his back to the sofa. “_What_.”

“I said,” he pouts, “kiss me.”

✰

_Note to self_: Do not drink alcohol (or apple juice after midnight).

_<strike>Fact</strike>__ Reason_: Lucas’ touch felt magical against his skin.

✰

The familiar throbbing headache wakes him up. Opening his eyes, Renjun squints from being blinded by the Sun. Didn’t Margo always close the curtains for him? Where is she?

Sitting up, he rubs his eyes and then stop before realizing this is not his room.

It looks familiar but he can’t tell whether or not he’s been here before. He’s always trying to forget places he’s been to, especially if it links back to his reputation or his father. Scanning the nightstand beside him, he sighs when neither his glasses nor his contact lenses are there. He moves to stand up to grab his phone charging in the corner of the room when the bed shifts next to him.

His eyes widened.

_Fuck. Hold on. I didn’t— WHO—_

Slowly, he turns his head to the lumpy figure under the blanket, staring until it moves again. He lets out a shrill scream. The stranger abruptly wakes up and proceeds to fall off the bed.

When Renjun finally realizes who stranger is, he lets out another scream. “What the _hell_—!”

“What’s wrong?” Lucas asks urgently, looking around as if a fire broke out.

Renjun checks for his clothes under his blanket and breathes a sigh of relief when they are still intact with his body. Okay. Good. Good. That means they didn’t—

“We didn’t, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The headache comes back in full force. Renjun tries to calm down. He remembers his breathing exercises.

The sunlight is pouring from the outside into the room, illuminating everything. Renjun makes a guess that it’s noon. His suit is on the chair and his earrings are placed nicely on the vanity table in front of the queen-sized bed. When he looks up, there’s a mirror on the ceiling. His hair is messy and there’s a pink hue dusted on his cheeks. As if, as if they just—

Renjun catches Lucas’ gaze in the ceiling mirror, before looking at the real thing. “Where the fuck am I?”

“The Grand Hotel,” Lucas answers, standing up to head inside the bathroom. Renjun realizes he’s shirtless.

“God, my head hurts,” he whispers. What the hell happened last night? Why on Earth did he wake up to the Devil’s reincarnate? Bringing his fingers to his forehead to massage at his ugly headache, he realizes there’s a hard material on his finger. He brings down his hand to investigate.

There’s a ring—white silvery in colour, with a garnet-coloured diamond, wrapped around his ring finger. He blinks. Once, twice, then again. There are a million thoughts running in his head but he can’t process anything with the nuisance pounding in his head.

_Shit_.

Suddenly wide awake, he looks around the room again. He hears the shower turn on in the bathroom.

Renjun walks towards the vanity table, scanning for a hint that might make him remember. _What happened, what happened, what happened—_

To his horror, he sees a marriage certificate just centimetres away from where his earrings are placed. It’s beige in colour with patterns of red frills outlining the edge, the same shade of maroon of the bed sheets. The words _Certificate of Marriage _are written in big and bold—contradicting against the pretty font chosen.

Renjun thinks, _no fucking way_.

He doesn’t want to read the names written on it.

But of course, his eyes betray him.

_This certifies that Wong Yukhei and Huang Renjun were united in marriage on this day, the 6th of June, in the year 2019_, it reads.

Renjun’s breath hitches and there’s a twisting feeling in his intestines. He grabs the paper and crumples it in his fist in response; to the certificate, to Lucas, to his father, to Prometheus, to Soulmatery.

To everything.

It’s noon and he’s just woken up next to his supposed soulmate when he himself doesn’t believe in hearts on fire.

The headache just keeps getting worse.

Grabbing his earrings and his phone, he storms out of the room. Lucas comes out of the bathroom, a towel on his waist and nothing else, hair wet and dripping just to see Renjun glancing at him one last time before he’s out the door and dashing through the hallway.

“Renjun— _wait_—!”

Quickly sending out the location to his driver in the elevator, he tries to control his breathing and blinking back his tears as he does so. When he runs outside, the black Lamborghini is already stopping in front of him. Not wasting a second, not letting a chance for anyone to even realize it’s _HUANG._’s heir in the streets, looking anything but imperfect and panting, he swings the door open and climbs inside.

“Would you like an aspirin, Renjun?” the driver asks because he’s nice enough to ask questions Renjun doesn’t have answers to at the moment.

“Yes, please,” he croaks, thankful that the car is already moving away.

✰

Their flight back to Seoul is at 9:25 at night. That gives Renjun enough time to pack up, have a light dinner, and meet up with his friends at the private lounge in the airport all while simultaneously interring the events of this morning in the deepest part of his mind.

Well, at least, he _tries_ to do.

He twirls in the spinning chair to try and forget about Lucas and the marriage and _being_ married to Lucas. Groaning, he tilts his head back. The private lounge is all pristine: the lights above them give a warm ambience with its beige lighting and he’s glad it’s not blinding him, and the walls are a pattern of squares coloured in coffee, hickory and caramel. It makes him crave for a warm mocha right now. He didn’t get any coffee today because—

_Ugh_.

“Dude, you’ve been groaning for the past twenty minutes,” Mark says, from his left. Renjun looks at this friends and frowns. Jeno and Donghyuck are sitting across him and Jaemin sits on his right. They look at him, expecting an answer.

“Have I?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Mark focuses back to the song he’s writing on his MacBook, thankfully, “Something on your mind?”

Renjun doesn’t answer.

Fortunately, Jaemin sighs from where he’s sitting, “Ah, I’m exhausted. Paris to Vegas, then Seoul. I have a class in the morning tomorrow, too.”

“You can always just skip?” Donghyuck suggests, “Who the hell takes morning classes, anyways?”

Jaemin looks offended, “I’m not _you_.”

Jeno must have noticed Renjun is quieter than usual and (unfortunately) asks, “Did something happened last night?”

Jaemin and Donghyuck stop bickering, and Mark turns his head to look at him. Feeling cornered, Renjun lowers his head and murmurs, “I need to tell you guys something.”

“Please don’t tell me you got someone pregnant,” Donghyuck quickly pleads, and Jeno smacks him in the head.

“I _knew_ we shouldn’t have left you,” Jaemin states, before looking at Mark like he’s the one to be blamed. Mark shoots him a look in response.

Renjun’s been friends with these people for so long that he forgets what it’s like to keep secrets from them. Sure, he has a few—they have some, too—but most of the time, they’re there with open ears to all of Renjun’s problems, and living as the son to the strict CEO of _HUANG._ gives him all the burdens he can’t carry on his own.

“I’m married,” he blurts out. Rapid and barrelling, not making any space for doubt at the moment.

They stare at him, mouth open, baffled.

A chorus of_ What the HELL_ and _WHO_ and _How the hell did you even—_ comes in response.

They’re all talking at once, like a symphony that’s discordant, that it’s almost funny. It _is _funny, he realizes. They’re still shooting questions at him like gunfire, and Renjun covers his mouth from laughing.

Then, it’s quiet and only Renjun’s giggling is echoing throughout the lounge.

“Oh, God. He has a _ring_,” Donghyuck’s eyes widened. Everyone looks at his hand.

Then the hellish symphony starts again—loud enough to wake the dead. Renjun shushes them before Mark grabs his hand to examine the ring. Jeno gets up to stand beside him to do the same, and Jaemin drapes himself over Renjun’s lap. Donghyuck is still stunned, sitting across him and mouthing a _What the fuck_?

“Is this _HUANG._? Or _LEE._?” Mark asks and Renjun boos because yeah, sure, that’s the only brands Mark would ever remember.

“I’d rather die than wear anything from _HUANG._ voluntarily,” Renjun sneers.

“It’s definitely not _LEE._,” Donghyuck chimes in.

“Hold the fuck up,” Jaemin turns in his lap so he could lay down relaxingly, “How the hell did this happen?”

Renjun bites his lip, pulling his hand away from Mark and Jeno. He starts fiddling with the ring to calm down. There’s no way he could keep this a secret from his friends now.

“Um, so I drank…” he starts bashfully.

“_YOU DRANK_? In America?” Jeno exclaims. Renjun is glad they’re in the more secluded area of the lounge.

“Say it louder so the whole world can hear you,” Mark pushes him off his back before he glares at Renjun, “You _drank_?”

“I thought it was apple juice,” Renjun defends himself.

“Goddammit, shitty bar,” Donghyuck mutters.

Jaemin looks like he’s connecting the dots in his head, “So you got drunk—_illegally_—”

“Shut up.”

“—and then eloped with a stranger?”

“Not to _that_ point, dummy,” Renjun mumbles, “I… um, straddled him,” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at this, “and then the next thing I knew I woke up next to him.”

Jeno responds with what sounded like a keyboard smash, “_YOU SLEPT WITH THIS MAN_?”

Mark punches him in the arm.

“_I DIDN’T_!” Renjun yells, “I only kissed him. I think.”

They all screamed: “You_ think_?”

Renjun buries his face in his palm, “_Please, _all of you_, shut up_. It was blurry and the next thing I knew I’m married.”

Donghyuck is struck by an epiphany, “Wait a minute. Who _exactly_ are you married to?”

(_Opinion_: Fuck you, Prometheus.)

“…Lucas, the drummer that night.”

The incongruent symphony starts again.

✰

After all sorts of persuasion (as in: threats) from his friends, he makes a decision to meet Lucas.

His friends are a nosy bunch (he knows this more than anyone), and what do nosy people do the best? They look for _details_. In this context, his friends have made it their life mission to find information concerning his marriage.

_It’s Las Vegas_, Jaemin had said. _Lots of people get married here—usually accidentally_.

_Also, there is no way in hell you would get married without inviting us_, Jeno said.

So, Renjun sits through two classes with his phone vibrating non-stop. He hopes the people sitting next to him didn’t hear the constant _buzz_. His friends had sent links and screenshots of possible places where the marriage—specifically the signing of the certificate—would had happen. Mark, being the absolute angel that he is, had proposed: _Why not look for places closest to The Grand Hotel_? Renjun sends him a cat meme with heart stickers.

Apparently—

“—You’re saying we’re _not_ actually married,” Lucas says, eyeing the side dishes the waiter had just placed on their table. When Renjun decided it’s time to meet Lucas, he didn’t expect it to be at a hotpot restaurant. He’s not complaining—he’s been craving for Tom Yum.

“Yes,” he responds, strictly business. He winces for a millisecond, reminded of his father, “The place where the certificate of marriage was signed are only for Pretend Weddings. You know, pranks—those sort of things.”

“And you didn’t know.”

“I was drunk out of my mind,” Renjun leans in to whisper, glaring at him. He leans back, looking around the restaurant. No one seemed to recognize them. “Also, what do you mean by ‘_And you didn’t know_’, don’t tell me you knew the entire time?”

Lucas responds with a laugh. Renjun gasps, “You’re impossible.”

“I would never agree to the real thing—I was sober,” Lucas continues laughing then pauses to bite his lower lip, “Unless you know—you’re being serious about it and _is _sober.”

“Forget it,” Renjun brings his hand to clutch at his heart but stops, “I have a question.”

“Me too—why aren’t you putting any meat in?”

Renjun scowls, grabbing the platter of meat and dumping it in the boiling hotpot. “Did we…” he continues, nervously letting out a cough, “Did we kiss? That night, I mean.”

Lucas looks up at him and this time, Renjun doesn’t look away. The latter is dressed in a biker jacket over a black t-shirt. There’s a long necklace with a G clef pendant hanging on his neck and he’s wearing silver earrings. With the Timberlands he’s wearing, he looks almost intimidating—if he didn’t smile and wave comically at Renjun when he entered the restaurant.

Then he smiles, and Renjun feels the familiar feeling of a heart glowing. “I told you—I’d never do anything when you’re drunk, unless you consent to it beforehand.”

“But I did tell you to…” he trails off, glancing at the boiling hotpot instead.

“Yeah, you were demanding. It was cute, don’t worry, like a kitten begging for it to be petted,” he asks for the plate of narutomaki and Renjun passes it to him, ears burning red, “But you were kind of… well, you were on the verge of tears because you weren’t getting any kisses.”

“Oh, God. That’s _embarrassing_.”

“Yeah, so I— I did this instead— if you don’t mind,” Lucas stands up when Renjun shakes his head. It happens too fast: Lucas presses two fingers on his lips before pressing it on Renjun’s, then he sits back down as if he didn’t just— _just_—

The pressure is light and gentle but the impact is ruthless to Renjun. His hands start to sweat and he feels the dreadful pounding of his heart against his ribcage.

Renjun sinks back lower in his seat, “Ah.”

“Oh, hey, they’re playing _Vision!_’s song,” Lucas tilts his head up to listen. Renjun does the same.

_There are ten thousand reasons_   
_ I won’t miss the chance to say I love you_   
_ I’m willing to give everything to touch you_   
_ Anything to make you smile_   
_ One thousand roses, a candlelit dinner for two_

“It’s… cute,” Renjun comments, smiling softly and Lucas fucking _beams_ at him. It’s a familiar expression, he notes.

“Really? I’m glad,” Lucas pats his heart. “We went for a more acoustic style for this single. I think it’s the most successful one.”

_Love you, love you, you’re unprecedentedly lovely_   
_ Every minute, every second, love you, love you_   
_ I’m fallin’ in love, I’m in love_   
_ I’m in love, let me love you_

For the first time, Renjun wants to ask him about what he thinks about Soulmatery, what happened when their hearts glowed way back then and what he thinks of him, as a soulmate, as a person, maybe as a lover.

“I just know you guys are going to be big soon,” he says instead, smiling as he swallows down the questions, “This is one is a favourite, already.”

✰

_Fact_: Hotpots are more delicious when you’re not alone.

_Reason_: Lucas makes the funniest jokes.

✰

Renjun spends an entire day watching all of _Vision!_’s live performances. When he texts Donghyuck for links and the latter asks why, Renjun doesn’t reply back.

He’s settled things with Lucas. He’s not going to meet him ever again.

To hell with Soulmatery and unanswered questions.

✰

Renjun dreams of the same nightmare since he was fifteen.

It starts with a panorama view of a very familiar but (like almost everything to Renjun) forgotten beach. He’s had this dream far too many times to count that he immediately knows it’s a family vacation to somewhere, a long time ago. He’s five. His family is sitting under a beach umbrella—mother _and_ father. No mistress, no other sons under the _HUANG._ name in sight. The sun is setting and it’s not too hot or cold.

Here’s the thing that keeps Renjun grounded; reminds him that it’s not real: they’re happy.

They’re _genuinely _happy.

They’re celebrating his mother’s birthday because there’s the cake Margo still makes and his mother looks younger without the lines on her forehead or the sadness in her eyes. They’re laughing at a joke his father made, and Renjun remembers, for a moment, that his father makes jokes.

Then it fades, and Renjun is falling into nothingness.

He lands onto the kitchen floor. Their _old_ kitchen floor, before his mother and him moved to the apartment. When he stands up and turns his head, he sees seventeen-year-old Renjun in the living room, pretending he doesn’t care, thinking it was only a phase.

His parents are screaming but he hears no sound—Renjun likes it better like that in these nightmares.

_I’m your soulmate!_ His mother reasons, clutching at her heart.

_I don’t care_, he sees his father yells.

Funny. He’s not allowed to groan at the table. He wonders if screaming is okay.

The darkness engulfs him once more.

When he opens his eyes, he’s lying on the floor—their apartment floor. This time he can hear the ceiling fan whirling above him and the television turned on. The curtains that hang above the sliding doors leading to the balcony brushes against the side of his face.

He can hear his mother crying in the kitchen again.

There are no family pictures in the living room anymore.

He wakes up, cold and devoid of any warmth.

✰

_Opinion_: Prometheus should have not stolen the fire.

✰

Seo Johnny barges into his apartment a few weeks later. He’s wearing a nice midnight blue shirt under a classy grey suit—a contrast to Renjun’s white shirt that says _Go Beyond! Plus Ultra! _and Pompompurin pyjama pants.

“We have a problem,” he says like it’s an emergency that needs to be resolved even if it’s only 11:29 AM.

_Maybe it is_, Renjun thinks. Johnny has been working as the PR manager for _HUANG._ for years now so it’s his duty to keep the name of his father’s company clean and ‘off the hook’. The worst case was back when Renjun was still in high school and his father had tarnished his own company after he was exposed for having an affair on _Go Up!_ News. He remembers Johnny not sleeping for a couple of days.

“_Eung_?” Renjun responds, mouth stuffed with a slice of pizza, and Johnny doesn’t even hide the grimace on his face. Renjun has an idea of what he currently looks like: sprawled out on the floor in front of the television, binging on all seasons of _Haikyuu!! _and a box of pizza—half of the slices already gone—next to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Relaxing…?”

“Well, then, you might want to brace yourself,” Johnny says, sitting down on one of the couch, and Renjun stands up to sit next to him. He lowers the television volume.

When Johnny passes the iPad to him, the pizza in his stomach is already churning—instincts, he guesses. He takes a deep breath and scrolls through the article. The headline is titled _Huang Renjun and his little rendezvous?_ and true to it, it’s all about him having a “private” meeting with his “night lover” at The Grand Hotel the night of Donghyuck’s birthday.

The writer describes how the son of _HUANG._ had disregarded his “innocent image” and went to stoop so low to have a one-night stand. For the first time in years, Huang Renjun is not at a café or at the university the morning after a party but instead caught looking dishevelled and running outside a _hotel_ out of all places.

Attached at the end of the article are a few photos taken from inside a café—the one in front of the Grand Hotel—and he frowns. His hair is messy, he knows, it was bed hair but the suit from the night before is draped over him and he was still wearing the shirt. All things considered, the article makes him look scandalous.

“The press has been eating this up,” Johnny states, taking back the iPad after Renjun chucks it at his lap. “Your father is… not happy.”

“Shit,” Renjun runs his hands in his hair, “What are we going to do?”

“Hey, don’t sweat it—I’m already on it,” Johnny smiles, reaching to grab the abandoned box of pizza. He grabs a slice as Renjun looks at him for further explanation. “What do the press love more than a good story?”

Renjun already knows the answer. He’s not a stranger to this industry. “A better story.”

“Exactly,” Johnny takes a few bites while Renjun plays with the hem of his shirt. Kageyama is screaming at Hinata on the television. “Basically, you are going to fake date someone.”

Renjun looks away from the television to stare at Johnny. “What.”

“_Listen_,” Johnny puts his hands up, “The press would forget about your tryst because they would think you’re _already_ in a loving relationship.”

“It was not a tryst!” Renjun blushes red. “Also, won’t that make things blow up more?”

“Not if the person you’re dating is _new_ to this scene,” Johnny grins, “Not if his record is clean and the media doesn’t have anything on him,” he stands up, making his way down the hallway into the kitchen.

Renjun groans when he realizes, “God, you already have a person in mind.”

“Plus, what’s better: the press obsessing over your one-night stand or the fact that the untouchable prince of _HUANG._ has a boyfriend?”

“It was _not _a one-night stand.”

Before he walks out the door, Johnny calls out to him, snickering, “Dress nicely! I’m going to pick you up. We’re going to have a meeting with _Vision!_ and their manager tonight.”

Renjun could only stare numbly at the closed door.

✰

_Vision!_’s manager greets them in the lobby of WayV Entertainment Headquarter. He’s wearing glasses, a beige sweater and is fairly tall, but like most people, there’s a bit of a height difference when Johnny comes to the frame. “I’m Ten—_Vision!_’s manager.”

“Hello,” they greet him back politely.

“Please come with me. The boys are waiting,” Ten gestures them to follow him into the elevator.

“We hope we’re not late,” Johnny says, all wide smile. Friendly—rare in this part of the city.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about those rascals,” Ten jokes.

WayV Ent., Renjun learns, is a new and relatable small company in the music industry but like every newcomer, it’s a potential rival to every other existing companies.

“The band is their second project and they hope to be successful this time,” Ten explains.

Renjun can’t help but ask, “What happened to their first project?”

“Scrapped at the last minute.”

(_Fact_: Prometheus was punished; chained to a rock. Humans saw this as perseverance, and did the same for the many, many, _many_ years after.)

Renjun stays quiet in the elevator, leaning against the metal walls. He only makes eye contact with Johnny once before he’s tugging at the hem of his shirt, eyes looking downward.

When the doors open with a _ding!_, Ten doesn’t waste time to lead them down the carpeted hallway and into a meeting room. The air conditioner is on full blast and the tables arranged are in a U-shape—those are the first things he notices. The second is four set of eyes looking at him.

“Boys,” Ten starts, “meet Johnny and Renjun.”

They greet them enthusiastically. Renjun offers a small wave, eyes immediately landing on Lucas. He’s sitting next to Prince Eric by the window while Strawberry Blonde and Kun is sitting across them.

Johnny pushes him into the seat next to Kun before taking the seat next to him.

Renjun taps his faux wedding ring under the table and mouths a _Hi_ to Lucas.

_Hello_, he mouths back, _You look cute_.

_Thank you_, Renjun smiles.

Ten clears his throat as he takes his place next to Prince Eric, “I think introductions aren’t necessary but just to make sure: these are the members of _Vision!_. Kun is the leader and next to him is Yangyang. Next to me here are Hendery and Lucas, but I think Renjun knows him well enough.”

Ten winks at him. Renjun raises an eyebrow.

“You two know each other?” Yangyang squeaks, back straightening.

“Yeah,” Renjun clears his throat, “We went to the same high school.”

Hendery looks like he wants to say something—eyes darting back and forth between him and Lucas but he shakes his head instead.

“I don’t want to be rude or anything but I believe we must go straight to the point,” Johnny interjects.

“Oh, not at all, Mr. Seo,” Ten waves his hand, turning on the projector, “I’m excited for this. Would you like to start?”

Johnny nods, connecting his MacBook to the projector. When his PowerPoint presentation loads, he begins, “This morning, an article was released.”

He shows the article Johnny had shown Renjun earlier before. He didn’t think Johnny would prepare a fucking presentation beforehand, and now having the members of _Vision!_ reads the headline—his name and the word _rendezvous _in the same sentence—he feels like he wants to be swallowed by the floor.

He shrinks in his seat.

Lucas catches his gaze, and Renjun shrinks lower.

“This article is currently circulating the tabloid websites and Renjun’s name is currently trending on the _Go Up! _News website. If it were any other headlines, this would be a normal occurrence—something Renjun is already used to.”

“Excuse me,” Kun interrupts, and Renjun freezes because it feels like _he’s_ being targeted. “If this is such a normal occurrence, then why are we here?”

Renjun realizes they don’t know the plan yet, judging by his question and Ten’s smug expression across him.

“Because,” Johnny says slowly, “the information being passed around the media is faux. My job is to protect Renjun’s reputation as well as the good name of _HUANG_. In this industry, things like _these_,” he motions to the article, “can eat people up, chew and spit them out. I’m telling you—no one wants a gnawed up brand.”

Kun keeps a stoic face the whole time Johnny explains and only nods in understatement.

Ten continues, “We’re having this meeting right now because we believe we have a solution to divert the press’ and paparazzi’s attention away from _this_ to another story—one that’s more tolerable and hopefully satisfactory.”

Renjun’s mouth is dry. The press has always been behind his back, watching his every move, especially after the stunt his father pulled years ago. They’ve always been waiting, with eyes unblinking, for the next time Renjun makes a mistake and trips. So he understands why they feel this story would be _tolerable_.

A boyfriend is better than a one-night stand.

“And that is…?” Hendery asks, and Ten pinches his cheeks.

“We want one of you to date Renjun—for the press,” Johnny finally drops the bomb, and Renjun watches as their eyes widen, “Public appearances, plus-ones to events, a few photos taken. Just for a while.”

Lucas’ hand shoots up, “Renjun wanted this?”

Johnny stares at him, “Of course not. _This_ was my plan, and I texted Ten prior to this meeting.”

“If I could ask,” Yangyang starts, “Why _us_? I mean, one of us?”

Ten claps his hand excitedly, “_Vision!_ was there—at Donghyuck’s party. It would make sense for those fake-article writers. Their brains are pea-sized as it is! They would only have to connect the dots.”

Johnny and the band laugh, and Renjun lowers his guard enough to smile.

“It’s going to work,” Ten grins before looking at Renjun, “Your reputation would be saved, _HUANG._ won’t crash and burn and die—not really because you know, _money_, but it won’t get a bad image, and _Vision!_ will get the publicity needed to sky rocket. Maybe by the end of this, they’ll release their first official album.”

They looked excited when Ten mentions that bit.

Johnny rubs at Renjun’s back for reassurance and he realizes he’s being tense the entire time. He relaxes a little. For whatever reason, his eyes immediately dart to where Lucas is sitting. Of course, _fuck_, he’s already looking at him.

A tiny, tiny voice in his head is telling him that maybe he’s been looking at him the entire meeting.

_Are you okay? _Lucas mouths. Renjun nods.

“I believe Lucas is the best choice.” Johnny says, and everyone whips their head in his direction. Renjun flinches under the stares.

“Oh, yes,” Ten agrees, “There’s the high school factor. I’ve heard Renjun stayed back with Lucas during the after party as well?”

Johnny nods, “There are a few rumours of you meeting up at a hotpot restaurant, am I correct?”

God, he’s feeling cornered now. Not trusting his voice, he nods. He realizes he hasn’t spoken a word the entire night. His father would be ashamed.

Lucas saves the day, “Yeah—we were, you know, just catching up.”

He doesn’t say anything about the fake marriage thing, and Renjun makes a mental note to treat him in gratitude. He doesn’t want to know how Johnny or Ten would react to it, what more the media.

✰

Renjun is in his last year of high school when his father doesn’t come home for days.

It’s not an abrupt realization—he had to piece everything together and connect the dots, the absentees, his secretary coming over for dinner more than once. He tries not to think of his father as a cheater. New research about Soulmatery were being released here and there consistently for years now, and he’s seen them, has read a few, so of course he doesn’t think cynically.

He remembers thinking: mother is his soulmate, he is hers, so there’s no way he would— he would—

But good things, he learns, comes to an end.

Like Lord Zeus punishing Prometheus for agitating him.

Like Lord Zeus punishing humans after what Prometheus had done.

His father comes home after a week of being absent from his own home—longer than he’s ever been. He waltzes in with their security guard following close behind. When he stumbles on his feet, Renjun catches him in the doorway before he could fall on his face. Margo and his mother runs down the stairs in hasty steps, bombarding him with questions as their security guard helps him up to sit on the couch.

His mother falls silent when she sees the lipstick stains on his neck and his pristine white shirt.

Renjun stands behind them and remembers thinking: this is destruction.

He goes to school the next morning without a trace on his face that indicates that he’d stayed up all night long, listening to his mother’s cries downstairs. Margo lent him her concealer to cover the dark bags under his eyes.

The straw that breaks the back is when classes are over and their school’s soccer team wins a game against another school.

Renjun usually never stays back for a soccer game, opting to come home like he’s told, but he’s not eager to go home. He’s not prepared to spend dinner that night with his mother’s bloodshot eyes staring at him, and being asked how was his day as if her own life wasn’t just flipped upside down, the fire in her heart put out as fast as lightning.

Watching Jeno make the winning goal doesn’t hurt him like his father does.

So he stays.

Donghyuck looks surprised when he asks to accompany him for the first time in his high school years, but he doesn’t ask why.

Afterwards, Renjun’s being dragged into the locker room where the football team is just exiting, laughing high pitched and beaming from victory.

Donghyuck looks around for Jeno when the coach calls out for him. He nudges Renjun in the arm and tells him to meet up outside in the hallway. “The coach wants to talk about a ring—_LEE._’s. He’s going to propose to his husband! Isn’t that exciting?”

(An image materializes in Renjun’s mind: another family vacation but this time, his father’s secretary is there—he wonders why didn’t he see the first sign, the first warning.)

“That’s cute,” he says. Donghyuck grins before he enters the coach’s office.

Renjun lets out a sigh, leaning against the wall. He wonders what’s going to happen to his family. Then he hears a loud _thud_ from inside the locker room. Curious, he peaks inside. There’s a guy on the floor and rubbing at his forehead. With the position he’s in, Renjun guesses he leaned back on the bench and then fell off.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

The guy jumps, eyes darting to him and Renjun finds out it’s Lucas Wong—one of the well-known boys in their school. Smart and athletic, a good combination.

“Yeah!” he jumps up, before awkwardly sitting back on the bench, “Just fell.”

“I guessed,” Renjun half-smiles, “Congrats on the win, by the way.”

“Thanks. Renjun, right? Jeno’s friend,” he says and Renjun nods. “My mother wears a _HUANG._ ring.”

He doesn’t take that as a compliment. “Where’s Jeno?”

“Oh,” Lucas looks away, “He left with another friend of yours—Jaemin?—not long ago.”

_Figures_. “Thanks.”

Renjun turns around to head out into the hallway to meet Donghyuck—he probably already finished talking about the damn ring—when Lucas grabs his wrist.

The sudden touch stops him immediately and he turns around—warmth, warmth, _warmth_ ploughing under his skin of his arm to his entire body. Lucas’ cheeks are tinted pink and it’s not because of the thrill of winning the game. He’s blushing and Renjun recoils—not in disgust but more of surprise, tugging his arm away.

“Do… do you want to go out with me?” Lucas stammers, “There’s a new cake house that opened near my neighbourhood.”

Renjun furrows his eyebrows, “Huh?”

“I’m asking you out on a date,” Lucas rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I’ve always liked you, since… since you won the art contest last year.”

“I’m sorry,” Renjun begins and Lucas visibly deflates. His shoulder shakes.

But then, the universe thought this was the right time to—

Renjun’s heart clenches—he feels it in between his lungs and he can’t _breathe_. When he looks at Lucas, he mirrors his expression and clutches at his chest. Is this…? _Is this…?_

And he knows _it is_ because he’s asked questions like these to Mama Na since he was a child, he has made countless of research on this and has read hundreds of books and online articles.

When he looks down at his chest, it flickers with light—like a campfire on a Summer night on the beach. Warm, gentle, and calm. His heart subsequently shines, bright, bright, _bright_ and Lucas’ is, too. When their hearts stop glowing, he’s breathing too fast and he’s panicking because all he sees is his mother’s heart breaking into a million pieces and his father kissing his secretary in parts of her body where he shouldn’t have in the shadows of his parents’ bedroom.

Lucas waits for his response.

Renjun doesn’t like Soulmatery so he doesn’t meet his eyes.

He runs.

He runs fast enough so Lucas would get the hint. Fast enough to show that he’s not interested in Soulmates, or in glowing hearts, or defying Gods.

(He’s not.)

((He’s _not_.))

✰

“What are you doing?”

The question has Renjun looking up from his tray of food. Lucas is standing by his table. He’s wearing a green tank top with a blue flannel shirt wrapped around his waist, and a white cap on that says CAP in Japanese. He hides the snort coming before taking a bite out of the hash brown he’s been holding.

“Late breakfast,” he answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Lucas looks around. It’s not that jam-packed because it’s only 11-something AM. He takes a seat across him. It’s been a week since they agreed to start fake dating.

“At McDonalds?”

“I’m not picky,” Renjun defends, “Their hash brown is good.”

“Yeah, but _McDonalds_?”

“Just because I’m the son to a father who owns a millionaire company doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy fast food like any other people.”

Lucas laughs, “You’re right; I apologize.”

Renjun can’t help but smile, “I had a late morning and rushed to my class without breakfast but thankfully, I only have two classes today—the other one was just cancelled. So now I’m here.”

The other hums, “You’re majoring in Animation and Film-Making, right? I saw it on the _Go Up! _Website—I didn’t stalk you, by the way, if you’re thinking that.”

“Yeah,” Renjun laughs before continuing because most people would ask that question—_but_ _aren’t you going to take over your father’s company_? “and no, I have zero plans on taking my father’s place as CEO. He has another son to do that.”

“Half-brother?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah,” Lucas says, “I thought your father is a touchy subject.”

“Well, yes, but we’re supposed to be dating so you ought to know a little about my tragic past.”

“Then, in exchange, I’ll tell you mine. It’s not much and it’s not as tragic as you might think but you know, balance is key.”

Renjun giggles, sliding the fries to his direction, “Okay, so. My father slept with his secretary,” he begins and Lucas makes a face—pained and grimaced, “then fell in love with her in between the adventures in bed. He divorced my mother only three months into the affair. I have the sound of her cries memorized in my head and because of that, I don’t believe in soulmates afterwards.”

“Is this before or after I told you I liked you?”

He feels his guts churned, “Before.”

Lucas smiles woefully, “It was only the wrong timing for me, then.”

Renjun hears: _In another universe, I would have reached you faster._

“I think I saw the news of your father’s affair. That was crazy.”

“Yeah, and now the media has been on _my_ ass for years,” Renjun says and Lucas extends his hand and places it over his, not exactly holding or intertwining, but there for comfort. His cheeks feel warm. “Okay, your turn.”

“You already know the main details: went to college in Japan, met those losers and now we’re a band. We don’t have an album yet, sadly, because we’re not known enough. We perform at local events and open for other singers… and that’s it. It’s kind of rough sometimes. We don’t talk about it but Yangyang is slowly giving up. Things don’t happen overnight—he doesn’t understand that.”

“We got married overnight,” Renjun says before he could even stop himself. The memory feels distant now.

Hearing Lucas laugh again was worth every unexpected thought he could ever utter. “Yeah. You know, it means a lot for us that you’re helping us. I feel kind of terrible because it feels like we’re taking advantage of your name, though.”

“Shut up,” Renjun throws a French fry at him, “I _agreed_ to helping because it would help me too. It’s not a one-sided thing. You’re saving me from facing my father’s rage. Trust me—another Huang on the news in bad light? You’ll never hear from me again.”

Lucas laughs again and Renjun wants to bottle the sound of it so he could hear it over and over again. He blanks for a moment because he _can_. He has the privilege of being Lucas’ soulmate, and he’s lucky because the universe had tied him to a boy with a brilliant smile.

(His mother is ripping up family photos. His mother rubbing her eyes after crying again. Margo telling him not to worry and eat.)

“Hey, Lucas?” Renjun asks. “Do you believe in Soulmatery?”

“I do,” he answers without hesitation.

Renjun wonders why Lucas had to be tied to a boy who does not; to a boy who hesitates.

✰

The headline is titled _Young Love: Huang Renjun and lover boy spotted!_

Johnny doesn’t miss the way Renjun’s ears turn red as he reads the articles before sliding the iPad across the kitchen table back to him. The article has attached photos of him and Lucas eating at McDonalds a few days ago. It’s creepy and out of line, and Renjun doesn’t think he’ll ever be used to seeing his face on articles, what more with this fake dating thing going on.

“So…” he asks, waiting for Johnny to say something. His mother enters the kitchen and greets them both before taking a seat next to Renjun. Margo places a bowl of rice in front of her.

“_So_ it’s working,” Johnny confirms.

“What’s working?” his mother asks, kind and loving because that’s what she is.

“A public stunt we’re currently pulling,” Renjun answers because he’s not sure if she wants to hear anything that links back to _HUANG_. He’s right—she takes a bite of her lunch, suddenly uninterested.

“As long as you’re safe,” she says.

Johnny starts again, “Did you plan this?”

“This?”

“Having lunch together at McD.”

Renjun feels oddly defensive. Not everything he does is for show, for the public, for a couple of candid pictures that are borderline unsettling and stalker-ish. He tries not to frown, “We bumped into each other.”

Johnny knows Renjun is only being vigilant. Hell, he’s been working under _HUANG._ for years now, he knows that expression Renjun is wearing when he sees it, “Hey, I would never agree to anything that would make you feel uncomfortable with. Give me the word and the deal is off immediately.”

Renjun lets out a sigh, eyes darting to his mother then back at Johnny. He stands up and pulls Johnny away from the kitchen and out of his mother’s earshot, “He’s my soulmate and I want to help him.”

Johnny raises an eyebrow before sighing, and that was it.

✰

Renjun is walking out of the East building of the university when he sees a familiar figure standing on the campus lawn, looking lost and searching.

He realizes Lucas is searching for _him_ because when their eyes meet, he beams and waves at Renjun.

“Lucas?” he asks, walking down the stone stairs. Lucas holds out his hand for him to grab. His hand is calloused and Renjun wonders if it’s because of the drumming he does.

“Are you done with classes?”

“Yeah,” Renjun adjusts his glasses.

“Am I bothering you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you have plans after this?”

Renjun shakes his head. This seems eerily familiar.

He remembers high school, senior year: locker rooms and Lucas asking him out and hearts glowing and he goes, _Oh_.

“Good! Let’s have lunch together?”

This time, he doesn’t run away.

“…Okay.”

✰

_Fact_: Renjun doesn’t dream of the nightmare one night.

_Reason_: He dreams of Lucas, instead.

✰

Three public outings with Lucas—mostly just café dates, Lucas picking him up after every class and Renjun posting screenshots of him listening to _Vision!_ on his Instagram account—comes Seoul Fashion Week.

It’s already mid-July, he reminisces.

Renjun has been invited as a representative for _HUANG._ The designer has apparently reached out for a collaboration last year and for their next Spring collection, _HUANG._ is already an eye-catching partner to their newest line of clothing.

Jeno is invited too, and Renjun can’t be more grateful than ever.

They sit in the front row where they’re closest to the stage and can see the outfits and their details better when the models walk in. A few minutes before the show starts, Jeno pulls at the cloth of his Louis Vuitton jacket, “I forgot to tell you, we don’t have to go to tomorrow night’s after-party.”

Renjun feels a bitter taste in his mouth at the mention of a party, “Thank God.”

“_But _we’re invited to another party.”

He tries to not throw him a sour expression. The press is already taking pictures. “It’s supposed to be a _me day_.”

“Not tomorrow, darling,” Jeno smiles apologetically.

“Whose party is it?”

“Doyoung.”

“Ah,” Renjun perks up, “then he’ll understand that I want to sleep.”

“_Yes_, but he just finished filming and it would be rude if we weren’t there to celebrate it with him, hm?”

“I hate it when you’re right,” he says, face stoic. A man laughs from across the runway stage; he’s wearing a sleek black biker jacket and unwillingly, he remembers a face, and bright eyes telling him the band’s been invited to a party, “Random question but will _Vision!_ be there?”

“Yep!” Jeno laughs, “Doyoung probably saw all those articles and pictures circulating _Go Up! _News, and wanted to meet this guy who so ever captured the heart of the untouchable prince of _HUANG._”

It’s sarcasm because Jeno knows he hates being linked back to his father’s empire, so he laughs.

The lights dim and the emcee walks down the runway.

(After the show, Renjun texts Lucas a photo of an outfit he thinks the latter would like.

Lucas sends him a video of him, thumbs up and grinning. Renjun saves it in his gallery.)

✰

He’s met Kim Dongyoung a couple of times as Jeno’s plus-one to movie premieres and fashion events, and he can say he’s close to him to the point where he can (and Doyoung insists on) calling him _hyung_.

Being Doyoung means being one of the most sought-after model, actor and singer in the entertainment industry. It means having parties on private beaches, open castles and New York City rooftops. This time, however, he opts for a small party somewhere in Pyeongchang-dong district in Jongno-gu to celebrate the end of filming the 8th movie he’ll star in. As far as Renjun can remember, Jongno-gu is more of a quiet area, so Doyoung’s modern mansion is built in hidden, behind tall gates and large forests.

Truly, it’s built like a dream. Its lavish white and luminous grey coloured walls scream extravagance, and the gardeners has done a great job maintaining the bushes on pillars, and plants—with flowers of all colours—lining up the wall, showering the house with bits of green. There’s a small pool and a campfire area when Renjun walks out from one of the entrance ways. From the picnic area, he can see there are three floors and three balconies in total.

The house reminds him of his life with his father.

The party is small and intimate, with Doyoung only inviting the cast of the movie, the directors, the behind-the-scenes employees, and his friends. Some from the business, others from high school and colleges he’s kept in touch with.

Jeno worked on a movie with him once, playing his brother, a few years back and they became inseparable afterwards. There’s an enormous significance between friends when you play the role of a supporting brother who’s older one is going through acceptance with himself. Renjun remembers that movie winning a few awards at the end of the year.

The house is buzzing with conversations; people are talking and sipping and indulging in the chef’s best treats. Some of the guests opt to relax outside by the pool and have barbeque. Waiters are moving here and there, bringing drinks and Renjun tries not to reach for one out of habit.

Johnny has run off to treat himself with snacks in the kitchen.

Standing on the stairs, Renjun looks down at the expansive living room and tries to look for anyone he knows. When he sees a familiar strawberry blonde head, he descends down to where some of the members of _Vision!_ are.

Kun and Lucas aren’t here, he notices. Still, it’s nice to see recognizable faces, “Hey, nice to meet you guys again.”

Yangyang’s eyes lights up, “Oh, Renjun—hello. We were looking for you.”

“You were?”

“We don’t really know anyone here,” Hendery bashfully says. Renjun didn’t notice it before but they’re looking pale, more so under the chandelier lights.

“First time at a party?”

“We usually don’t get invited to events like this,” Kun says from behind him and he turns around.

Renjun nods in understanding, “Where’s Lucas, by the way?”

“Your boyfriend is upstairs on one of the balconies—the one on the right when you go up the stairs,” Kun answers as he winks, and Renjun thanks him, ignoring the way his heart warms when he said _boyfriend_.

He passes by a lot of people, greeting those who greets him and even poses for a picture with one of Doyoung’s cast member. Moving his way through the crowd, he tries to look for a familiar mop of brown head just in case Lucas had moved away, but when he slides the door to the balcony, he’s greeted by his back, unmoving.

Renjun slides the door close, hopefully the sound giving Lucas a heads up.

Lucas is wearing an oversized hoodie, two-toned: red on his left side and white on his right, but when Renjun reaches out a hand to places it gently on Lucas’ shoulder, he’s shivering. He responds by taking Renjun’s hand and tucking it in between his.

They stand over the ledge, watching the party pass by and the night seeping in.

“Are you… okay?” Renjun asks, a moment later.

“I’ve always been good with crowds, you know, being in a band does that to you,” Lucas starts, taking a deep breath, “but this is _so _different. Everyone here is either a model or some actors, some actresses—I’ve seen them in movies before, _holy_—and the fancy children of CEOs. Actual successful musicians. _Vision! _feels like the new kid at school. _I _feel like this new kid.”

Renjun rubs small circles on his hand with his thumb because he’s grown up in this industry, knows the scene more so than him, so he offers comfort, “You’ll be okay.”

“Yeah?”

In another universe, Renjun would tell him: _I’ll be here for you_. “Yeah.”

✰

As the night goes on and the party continues, Renjun introduces him to people he knows, to friends he’s seen from previous big events, and to his other hyungs in the industry, including Doyoung. Lucas is taken aback initially, even if his band was literally invited, but with every minute, he relaxes and Renjun’s relieved.

Jaemin pulled them outside to the poolside to have barbeque with Jeno and Donghyuck. The rest of the band comes strolling in, sitting close by. Renjun can’t pinpoint exactly when his friends and the band had become closer. Yangyang is their age, and it’s so easy to forget that this is the same boy Lucas had mentioned who is halfway giving up on his career when he’s laughing and joking around.

Between the switching topics, Jaemin suddenly lights up and invites the band to his birthday party in a country club somewhere in Jeju, “Come on, you _must_. I insist.”

“We can’t— possibly just— _barge in_ on you like that,” Lucas stammers.

Jaemin places another barbequed chicken meat on his plate, “You are not barging in, I am _inviting_. I’ll even pay for your plane tickets,” Kun opens his mouth possibly to argue but Jaemin puts a hand up, “Actually, I will.”

“Ah—” Lucas begins but sinks back down in his seat when Jaemin squints his eyes at him.

“No.”

Renjun tugs at his hand. “You really can’t win over Jaemin,” he says, laughing as Lucas pouts. He gestures him to open his mouth as he feeds him barbequed meat wrapped up in fresh lettuce.

A few people even stop by their tables to compliment on their music. As Lucas laughs and turns pink from all the compliments—both on his talent and looks—Renjun can’t help but feel foolishly, ridiculously and fervidly jealous—an ugly feeling on his tongue, a tug feeling in his guts.

But Lucas looks so happy and he doesn’t want to ruin this for him and the band so when he senses a camera nearby, he leans in and presses a small kiss on his cheek.

Lucas looks at him questioningly, “Wha—”

“Cameras,” Renjun answers fastfast_fast_. He doesn’t like how disappointed Lucas looks, and the jealousy becomes callous gloominess.

✰

The next morning, their names trend on the _Go Up!_ News and the tabloid websites are filled with articles and pictures of him and Lucas. _Vision!_ gets a few of their own articles and more people start to take interest in the band.

(For a brief moment, Renjun forgets what it was like to despise Prometheus for scorning the Gods.)

✰

The day before Jaemin turns nineteen, Renjun accompanies him in front of the main entrance of the country club. It’s close to five in the afternoon when a minivan drives into the long and winding driveway.

As Jaemin waves eagerly, Renjun straightens his shirt out of consciousness. When the minivan stops in front of them, five men collapse out of the door ungracefully. Jaemin remains smiling, and Renjun can’t help but laugh at the sight of Ten and _Vision! _lumped together on the ground.

“You guys good?” Jaemin asks. Hendery gives them a thumbs up, despite rubbing at his back.

Johnny exits out of the passenger seat, looking more neat than Ten and the band, “They performed last night so that’s why they look like...”

“I watched,” Renjun says before thinking.

“You watched?” Lucas asks, dusting off his pants but his eyes are trained on Renjun.

Renjun’s mind screams: _You watched?!_

“I watched,” he confirms, out loud. “Livestream, um, on my laptop.”

There’s a pregnant silence. Jaemin darts his eyes back and forth between him, Lucas, the band and Johnny before clapping his hand loudly, startling all of them. “_Well_. An escort will show you guys to your rooms. You must be hungry—all of you.”

“We sure are,” Hendery says, jabbing at Lucas’ ribs repeatedly. Ten covers his laugh with his hand.

“We’re going to have dinner at the restaurant soon. I’ll see you guys there?” Jaemin says before throwing a sly look at Renjun.

✰

On Jaemin’s birthday, hours later, his parents have designed the most brilliant idea: wake them at three-something in the morning.

The sky is dark, the hotel room illuminated by the moon and it’s cold when Mama Na comes into Renjun’s peripheral focus—he probably only has one eye open, the other half-shut. He can see a blur of _somewhat_ Donghyuck across the room and if he can see well, Donghyuck is probably mirroring his squint. Mama Na taps them on top of their head to dress warmly and quickly.

She wakes _Vision!_ too because they gather in the hotel lobby. Renjun gasps, now wide-awake, at Yangyang’s Pompompurin pants. They’re _matching_. Lucas laughs.

After they greet Jaemin a sleepy happy birthday, his parents drive them to Seongsan Ilchul-bong, a dormant volcano on the east coast.

“You ever just love waking up at the devil’s hour to climb a mountain?” Jeno asks groggily, yawning as his head whips back and forth, a poor attempt to stay awake.

“_Volcano_, to be exact,” Jaemin pinches his cheeks and it proves to be efficient because Jeno glares at him, eyes wide, with no spite.

“Oh, hush. The sunrise will be worth it, I’m telling you,” Mama Na chimes in from the front seat, “You guys okay back there?”

She looks into the rear-view mirror and giggles. Renjun can almost imagine how they look like from where she’s seating. Ten, Kun, Hendery and Johnny are squished in the far back of the minivan. Johnny looks uncomfortable being the tallest while Ten glares at his legs because, according to him, it’s taking up all his own leg space. Yangyang, Jeno, Jaemin, Donghyuck and Lucas are squeezed side by side in the middle.

Of course, the universe decides that Renjun should be perched on Lucas’ lap this fine dawn. It shouldn’t be bad because Jaemin has one leg on top of Jeno’s and Yangyang is literally _merging_ with the window but _still_.

Renjun tries not squirm too much, “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Lucas assures, “I just hope you’re comfortable.”

“Um, yeah. I’m feeling okeydokey. Peachy.”

As Jaemin’s mother goes on and on about the volcano, Renjun feels his eyes closing. Half-awake, he feels Lucas placing his chin on top of his head. When his fingers gently rub against Lucas’, he notices the faux wedding ring is there.

(Later, as they all sit on the crater ridge and watch the sun rise from over the horizon, colouring the sky in the prettiest hues of orange and warmth and love and new beginnings, Renjun places his head on Lucas’ shoulder and thinks, _Yeah, the sunrise was worth it_.)

✰

Embracing the northwest corner of Jeju island is Hyeopjae Beach located in Hallim village, and towards the end of the day, Renjun finds him and his friends frolicking the beach and eating the snacks being sold by the vendors. There’s not much people at this time of the year so they have the privilege of walking aimlessly around, sinking their bare feet into the soft white sand.

As they sit down on the blue-grey rocks, they prepare themselves to watch the sun setting across the ocean—never touching the sea yet meeting it night after night.

Johnny has his cameras ready but Ten insists of being the model in every pictures he take. Yangyang and Kun share snacks, rating each one and stacking them from _most delicious _to _never trying it again_ before they both yell at Hendery when he steals each one from their hands. From a distance, Renjun can hear Donghyuck and Jaemin teasing Jeno, and Mama and Papa Na are taking a breather and conversing with the local ladies at the vendor.

Lucas taps his shoulder. Renjun looks up, smiling as he takes his hand, pulling him to sit next to him. Renjun thinks back to a time where he didn’t have Lucas consistently being next to him, and he wonders if he could bare feeling that again.

Holding each other’s hands feel natural.

“So… This is what rich kids do on birthdays,” Lucas says.

Renjun plays with Lucas’ ring and hums, “Not exactly. You were at Donghyuck’s—that was _way_ different than this.”

“Are your birthdays more like Donghyuck’s or this…?”

“It used to be like his—I’ve even asked for a rooftop party for my 18th. But the whole thing with my father… I had to go in hiding, you know, to tone down everything for the sake of the company.”

“And thus, the untouchable prince of _HUANG._ was born.”

“Shut up,” Renjun says, but he feels his cheeks turn red, “To be honest, I don’t really like beaches.”

Lucas stretches his legs, “Why is that?”

“Bad feelings. We used to celebrate birthdays on beaches in quiet cities, but then the secretary came into the picture…” Renjun looks at his friends. Kun is trying to push Yangyang into the ocean. “This is the first time I’ve felt… like I had fun. I have my friends here but well, memories are persistent and the ache stings.”

Renjun doesn’t know when Lucas had moved in closer but when he finally realizes, Lucas is there, in his bubble, and he doesn’t mind it one bit. He smells like colognes bought from 7/11 stores but it’s nice and he feels himself move on auto-pilot, leaning, leaning, _leaning_…

“Next year—I’ll make sure you have happy memories for your birthday,” Lucas says, not exactly a whisper, but his voice is gentle and Renjun is unblinking.

“Hey, lovebirds! The sun is setting and you’re missing it!” Jeno screams before Jaemin slaps him in the head. “Ow—why did you do _that_?”

True to his words, the sun begins to set in the distance. The sky changes colours; the bright blue is replaced with a lilac colour and in between that are shades of pink, mauve and gold that is kind. The ocean shifts from indigo to a more purple-tinted shade.

When he turns his gaze to Lucas, he is everything love looks like: orange with a hint of pink, a smile like no other, eyes filled with the brightest of stars.

_Fact_: Renjun is in love with Lucas, and that he has been for a long, long time.

✰

An hour later, Renjun and Lucas find themselves taking their sweet time walking back to the minivan, arms bumping each other and hands longing to intertwine.

Kun had bolted first, eager to get a good seat this time. The others walk leisurely as they share stories with another, laughing without a care in the world.

Renjun counts to fifty before stopping in his steps.

Lucas is a few metres in front of him when he realized. Turning back, he tucks his hands in pockets.

Renjun hears his friends in the far distance before the laughter fades completely. The sound of the ocean waves in the distance dissolves into silence. He only hear his heartbeat in his ears—loud and quick-fire. Then, in hurried steps, he rushes forward and pulls Lucas by the collar of his shirt to kiss him on the lips.

When he pulls away, just by a few centimetres, Lucas hesitates, unsure written all over his face, “There are no cameras around?”

“I’m not kissing you for cameras,” Renjun says.

(In another universe, Renjun would say: _I love you_.)

Lucas lets out a breath, laughing quietly. He leans in and kisses him again.

(In another universe, Lucas would have said: _I love you, too_.)

✰

Renjun doesn’t dream anymore.

He doesn’t get the same nightmare that’s haunted him since his father left them but he doesn’t dream of _dreams_ either. It’s blank and even if he knows he’s dreamt the night before, he only remembers a blur of colours. It tends to distract him from going back to sleep.

For instance, _now_.

He wakes up from a dreamless dream again and blinks his eyes open. Donghyuck is snoring from his bed—the sound battling against the whirring of the air-conditioner. He wonders if Donghyuck had stayed up chatting with Mark who was too busy with his schedule to come to Jeju with them.

Throwing his blankets off and putting on his jacket, he exits the shared hotel room and minutes later, he finds himself sitting on a bench on a cliff.

The sun has rose an hour ago but the sky is still a melancholic and comfortable grey and the breeze isn’t too bad, considering how thin his jacket is. He can hear the ocean waves meeting the sand from below him and the sounds of grass dancing with the wind.

Then he hears footsteps, trudging from behind him. When he turns around, Lucas is there, wearing nothing but his pyjamas and a blanket draped around his shoulders. The morning mist surrounding him makes him look almost prince-like, and Renjun doesn’t think any other word could describe him perfectly at this moment.

He calls out to him, giggling, “Are you not going to get cold?”

“Humans have fire in their hearts, remember?” Lucas smiles, sitting next to him. “Can’t sleep?”

“Can’t dream.”

They listen to the stillness together.

Minutes pass before the sound of thunder erupts. It’s anything but startling—none of them makes a move to jog back into the hotel. Renjun feels the first drops of rain before Lucas, then the rain comes down fast before they could realize it.

They stand up, hands grabbing the other’s like it’s second nature.

“Oh, _God_,” Renjun says, laughing as they run towards the trail.

“We should dance!” Lucas giggles, pulling him.

Renjun asks, baffled and drunk on laughing, “Are you crazy?”

“Dance with me, my darling!”

Who is Renjun to deny?

Lucas intertwines their fingers, leading the dance, and Renjun makes out the blur movements of their feet under the dark grey sky and the pouring rain. They slip a few times due to the slope of the trail but he doesn’t care when he’s busy giggling the morning away.

“Can I kiss you?” Renjun asks, the rain merciless in the background like everything else in his world, but this time it’s different; it’s kind.

It’s an _almost_ dream.

“Depends,” Lucas answers, “Is _this_ real?”

Renjun places his hands on his shoulders and tip-toes.

_Fact_: It is real.

✰

He comes home to his cold apartment, and his father is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, half-empty.

Renjun stumbles back because this is not high school, this is not Saturdays when he was fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. This is his father sitting at his kitchen table like he’s lived here for years, and his mother and Margo is nowhere to be seen.

This feels like his mother crying. It feels like destruction.

“How are you, my son?” his father asks, curt and brief.

Renjun is completely and utterly bewildered, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Ah, straight to the point—very business-like,” his father says, “I’ve taught you well.”

“What are _you_ doing _here_?”

“To simply ask! Seoyoon said you stopped replying her e-mails and ignoring her calls.”

“Your secretary can fuck off.”

“I came here to be civil.”

Renjun’s jaw clenches and his eyes narrow into slits, “You _barged _into my apartment about two years later after you kicked mom and I out of the house. You don’t know shit about being civil. Tell me why are you here.”

“Is he your soulmate?” his father asks. It feels like a punch to his gut.

“_What_?”

“That drummer—is he your soulmate?”

“I have nothing to say to the likes of you,” Renjun scowls.

“If he isn’t, then why are you rejecting your _own_ soulmate?” his father continues, “Do you know what rejecting your soulmate means? You’re just like _me_.”

Renjun slams his hands against the table. The coffee mug shakes. His father keeps an indifferent face. “I am not you, you pompous bastard.”

“Ever so hostile with me, my son,” his father sighs, “What was my fault? I fell in love. It happens.”

“_It happens_? You left your own soulmate to cry her out. She might as well have been a dead woman walking the first year.”

For the first time in so long, his father’s expression cracks and a hint of worry shows, “You can’t be bound to the rules the universe has bestowed,” It’s a voice Renjun hasn’t heard in so long. “So tell me, really, is Lucas your soulmate?”

“Get out.”

His father walks out, shoulders high and nose even higher—an image he shows to the media.

Renjun briefly ponders if his father thinks he’s a stranger.

Before he exits the apartment, he turns around and smiles, “You know, Renjun. Every time I see you… I see myself.”

“Get the fuck_ OUT_.”

✰

For the rest of August, Renjun and Lucas do not meet.

Lucas immerses himself in the world of music altogether. The band starts to rise in popularity and their label has started to up their actions in promoting them. Renjun has unfinished assignments due for his classes at university. Sometimes, he can hear students talk about _Vision!_ or their songs blasting from another student’s headphones.

The cold starts to creep in Seoul when September comes, and that’s when Renjun decides to see Lucas.

Renjun doesn’t expect Lucas to answer the door to his apartment in a large sweater and pyjama pants, looking like death itself.

He furrows his eyebrows and then says, “You’re sick.”

Lucas snorts like it’s obvious, “Yeah. Sleeping less than four hours does have its consequences.”

“You haven’t been _sleeping_?” he asks but his heart is in his throat because he’s just as guilty. The nightmares are back. The concealer under his eyes does its job perfectly.

“_Shh_, I have a good reason for it,” Lucas wipes his nose with a tissue, “I’ve been producing songs at the studio.”

Renjun feels a pang of pride in his heart because Lucas deserves the entire world, “That’s amazing—I’m so proud,” he says before sighing, “but it’s still at the expense of your own health.”

“Well…”

“I’m coming in.”

“You don’t really have to, it’s a mess in here, you might get sick, too—,” Lucas starts to protest but Renjun only ducks under his arm, “_and_ you’re inside.”

“Where’s your kitchen?” he asks, immediately spotting it down the hallway before Lucas can even answer, “I’m going to make chicken soup for you.”

“You’re a chef now?”

“A great one, thank you very much,” Renjun tries to pour in as much banter into his words because Lucas has learned to know whenever he’s feeling uneasy. All the times where he’s seen in public with Lucas has caused the latter to place a hand on his lower back—a gesture that says _You’re not alone_—when he’s nervous. It’s almost remarkable how Lucas can sense it, almost like it’s instinct.

Now, however, Renjun does not want him to know he’s feeling out of it the moment his father breached the walls he’s built.

“I’m counting on that,” Lucas says. Renjun holds his breath when he’s suddenly being engulfed into a hug, “I missed you, by the way.”

Renjun tries not to freeze in his place so he pries away gently and places a hand on Lucas’ forehead, “You’re burning up. How about you take a nap while you wait.”

✰

As Lucas eats the chicken soup at the kitchen island, Renjun wipes the pots and utensils.

It’s quieter than usual, only the sound of the clock on the wall ticking and the sound of Lucas slurping and occasionally Renjun placing the dishes in the dish rack fills in the empty space. They’ve shared silence before but it was never this perturbed. It’s tense, both of them can feel it but Renjun hopes Lucas doesn’t bring it up.

It’s when Renjun looks at the clock the third time did Lucas speak, “Hey, are u okay? You seemed… down.”

Renjun realizes he’s been placing the dishes sluggishly, like he’s being careful of overstepping any boundaries.

He braves himself, already feeling the tears prick at his eyes and says, “I talked to my father. Actually… he was in my apartment the day we got back from Jeju.”

Lucas stands up immediately, something akin to being defensive and it doesn’t take him more than two seconds until he’s by Renjun’s side. There’s that hand on his lower back again. “Are you—did you—”

“After all those years… after the pain he caused my mother. He had the audacity to show his face—_ugh_,” Renjun’s hands start to shake and Lucas takes the bowl he was holding to place it down.

“You have every right to be mad,” Lucas says, slow and wary.

“But see, here’s the thing,” Renjun takes a deep breath. There’s a lump in his throat and he can’t swallow it down, “I’m mostly mad at _myself_.”

“Wh—”

“For listening to him. Now I can’t help… but think he’s right.”

(_Do you know what rejecting your soulmate means?_)

“About what exactly?” Lucas asks and Renjun doesn’t realize he started crying until he’s rubbing his face in agony. Stupidstupid_stupid_.

(_You’re just like _me_._)

“Soulmatery, Lucas, God damn it. What else would I even— _he’s _the reason why I think it’s bullshit,” he clenches his fist, feeling the hot stream of tears running down his face, “If two people are bound together—doesn’t that mean they don’t have a choice in the world? My father made his, and simply fell out of love. He— Fuck, he—”

(I’m not you, I’m not you, I’m not you—)

“What is your choice?” Lucas asks arbitrarily and Renjun feels the wind getting knocked out of him.

He scoffs, turning so that his back is to Lucas, “No, I’ll ask _you_. What’s yours? Why do you still love me? Why are you so hung up with me, even after I ran way that day our hearts glowed? Why do you not choose to love anyone else—”

“Because you’re my choice, Renjun,” Lucas says confidently, unchangingly, ardently. He turns Renjun around and forces him to look at him properly, “In twenty-five lives, hundreds of universe, all of the cosmos—_you’ll _be my choice. There might be a universe out there that doesn’t have Soulmatery and I’d still choose you. So I ask you, am I your choice?”

(_You can’t be bound to the rules the universe has bestowed_.)

Renjun tries to take a deep breath. Lucas is panting and there’s so much sincerity in his eyes and words.

An image conjures itself in his mind fleetingly: his parents fighting in the kitchen.

Here he is.

Here they are.

(_Every time I see you… I see myself_.)

“I need to go,” his voice cracks, and he pushes Lucas away and does the one thing he’s always done: he runs.

✰

Renjun doesn’t feel good afterwards. There’s an ache in his heart and it feels grey, like a forest after a fire, _hopeless_. The thoughts accumulate for weeks, piling on top of each other until he doesn’t have room for anything in his head other than stress.

It’s on a Tuesday afternoon when his friends are at his apartment to binge watch a new television series. It’s when the Sun is completely hidden behind an abundance of dark clouds that he snaps at them.

“Soulmatery is _bullshit_,” he says under his breath, low enough for his friends to hear. Jeno and Jaemin are sitting on the couch in front of the television, and Donghyuck had just came back from the kitchen with a glass of water. He sits on the sofa across him.

Jaemin shoots him a look that says _here we go, again_. “We know you think that, Renjun.”

“You say it a million times! You don’t change,” Donghyuck laughs.

“That’s rich, coming from a guy like _you_,” Renjun starts and this is how the damages happen: he can’t bring himself to stop, “Living the good life with Mark, ha?”

“_Renjun_,” Jaemin grits his teeth.

“How do you guys trust this soulmate shit so much?” His jaw clenches. There’s a voice that’s telling him to stop. He realizes it’s Jeno whose shooting him a warning look. “What makes you think Mark won’t go around messing with other people?”

Donghyuck opens his mouth then closes. There’s a look of disbelief written all over his face.

“Depending on fate,” Renjun lets out a _Ha_, “_Why_? You’ll only get hurt in the end. Face reality, my man.”

Jaemin stands up. “Stop.”

“You know, Renjun, if you stop blaming yourself for the shit that happened to you and your mom, and see that Lucas is nowhere near anything like that, then you wouldn’t be a bitch about _my _relationship,” Donghyuck shouts.

“Hey, come on, guys—” Jeno begins but Renjun cuts him off.

“Blaming myself—?! Are you fucking serious? You’re really going to bet your entire life on some social construct to meet your _happily ever after _fantasies? Why is there a belief that hearts glow when we meet “the one”? There other reasons written in books that explains other possible reasons for it. The consequences for believing it’s because of Soulmatery repeat themselves throughout time. If soulmates are so good and sweet and _kind,_ then why is the world still the world we already know so damn well? Tell me.”

“_Fuck you_,” Donghyuck scowls, “Just because your father fucked his secretary behind your mom’s back doesn’t mean shit to my relationship with Mark.”

“That’s…” Renjun clenches his fist.

Silence.

“I’m sorry I brought that up. You’re my friend but— I can’t do this.”

Donghyuck leaves.

Jeno runs after him, “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”

Renjun sits back down, not even sure when he stood up. Before he even starts thinking, Jaemin slaps both sides of his cheeks with his hands.

“I have only one thing to say because both of you are my best friends and I’m not taking anyone’s sides,” Jaemin says, holding his face, “Renjun, you have to learn to trust.”

The stinging feeling stays when Jaemin lets go. “Trust _what _exactly?” he asks. He’s trusted his father before. That didn’t play out well.

“Trust yourself.”

He leaves.

Renjun feels more alone than ever.

✰

When he wakes up, he’s on the living room floor. There’s an ugly weight on top of his tongue and his heart feels heavy, as if he’s just woken up from a nightmare.

Thinking of the words exchanged last night, he considers it as true.

Cracking his joints, he sits up, leaning against the sofa. There are empty cups on the table and the unfinished cake his friends were eating. He can’t bring himself to open the curtains and engrosses himself in the lifelessness of the apartment. Margo and his mother are still out, he guesses. There would have been a blanket on him if they came back last night.

The clock on the wall says it’s quarter after one in the afternoon.

There are 24 missed calls on his phone and a hundred messages, all from his mother. He taps on her name. It rings once before he hears his mother’s voice, “_Hello, son? You didn’t answer me._”

“Sorry,” he yawns, standing up and stretching, “I fell asleep.”

“_You and your friends okay? Did you finish the cake?_”

“We didn’t. We…” he stifles a sigh, “We had a fight—Donghyuck and I.”

“_You babies. That’s okay—you’ll make up. You’ve always done that._”

“How do you feel about Soulmatery?” he asks, tumbling carelessly into his bedroom, tripping on guilt. He shouldn’t have asked—

“_I used to hate it_,” she says as he sits on his bed, “_I used to hate your father_.”

He doesn’t feel like having breakfast, or going to any of his classes today. “Used to?”

“_Soulmatery feels like the universe arranges the marriage for you, that’s ten times worse_,” he hears her exhale, “_I thought it was the absolute shit when your father left me_.”

“Because you were soulmates.”

“_We were, yes_.”

Renjun waits for her to continue.

“_But then I realize… the universe does this with a purpose, a good intention. The fact that there are people out there whose soul is tied to yours—absolutely magical, is it?_”

He lays down and sees Lucas when he closes his eyes, “Maybe.”

“_I, for one, regretted not seeing the beauty of that. Even if people got the short end of the stick—myself included_.”

The anger for his father resides, “But that implies people who don’t find their soulmates are incomplete. They’re just halves walking around.”

His mother snorts, “_Oh, baby. Have you not learned anything about Donghyuck and Mark? If anything, finding your soulmate makes you realize you are complete—that you are worth loving even before you have a someone, if that’s what you want_.”

“Soulmates mean you don’t have a choice—”

“_Child—what? I literally just said _if that’s what you want_. Of course, you have a choice! Your father was my soulmate until he decided I wasn’t. I chose to move on. I’m learning to be happy—without him. It’s _okay.”

It’s okay, Renjun repeats to himself and it feels like relief.

“_You talked to your father, didn’t you? You know you’re smarter than listening to whatever he told you_.”

His heart is warm.

When he presses a hand over it, it feels like meeting the boy he’s avoided for years in a ballroom, it feels like watching sunrises on a volcano, it feels like dancing in the morning rain.

“_Anyways, how about we go for hotpot, tonight?_” he lets out a shaky breath. “_Renjun?_”

He’s laughing before he knows it, “I love him, oh God. I’m in love with my soulmate. I’m so,” he exhales, “thoughtless. I’ve been blaming father for what he did but I let myself live in fear of hurting Lucas. I hurt him—I have to apologize, _shit_.”

He stands up to get dressed. He hears his mother giggles from the end of the line. “_Go! He’s waited for years. You don’t have to run away this time. You have to run to _him_. Tell me how it goes_.”

“I will. Love you.”

When he runs out of his room, Donghyuck is in his living room.

✰

“I left my phone here,” Donghyuck explains before Renjun could ask.

“Oh.”

The whirring of the electric fan above them fills the silence. They don’t say anything for a few seconds until Donghyuck straightens his posture and lets out a sigh, “I’ll take my leave—”

“Wait,” Renjun calls out, an arm extending at his direction before he clasping his hand together awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.

“I was being an ass last night and I’m sorry if I accused of Mark of going behind your back. He’s my friend too, and,” his voice cracks, “I should know better.”

“I don’t blame you for hating Soulmatery,” Donghyuck sits down on the couch, “Your father was a dick.”

“I’m at fault, too,” Renjun says, “I was afraid of turning into him. Turns out I was _already_ him. I did the same thing he did to his soulmate, I refused them.”

“I know, I heard your conversation with your mother.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck smiles, patting the space next to him, gesturing for him to sit down, “You were crying, too, right?”

He sits down, “A little. I’m sorry, again. I hurt you.”

Suddenly, Donghyuck punches him in the arm. Hard. “Wha—”

“If you ever say you’re anything like your father again, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face next time.”

Renjun stares at him, rubbing his arm before they burst out laughing. Donghyuck is clutching at his stomach and Renjun feels himself tear up because maybe not everything is bad. When the laughter withers, he sighs, “I have to meet up with Lucas and apologize.”

“Atta boy,” Donghyuck taps him on the cheek, “But I think you have to wait for a little while.”

Renjun’s heart drops. “Why?”

“Mark is flying with _Vision!_ to LA today,” he says before snickering, “Not going to spoil anything because Mark will strangle me, but they’re going to _collab_. He’s helping them produce songs for their first album and they’re even going to film a music video for their debut!”

A million things are racing in Renjun’s head. Some of it being: Lucas is going to be on the other side of the world, thirteen hours apart, and Renjun hasn’t apologized. Donghyuck doesn’t sense his perturbation, “I just dropped Mark at the airport.”

“They’re flying _TODAY_?” Renjun exclaims.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck casually checking his Cartier wristwatch, “They should be boarding right now.”

Renjun stands up, “When would they be coming back?”

“January—why?” Donghyuck hums before his eyes widen, “Oh, no. You can’t wait that long.”

✰

_Fact_: Humans have a choice.

_Reason_: When the Gods had wanted to punish them, they buried the fire within them.

✰

The airport is a mix of white and beeping sounds. The blue sky is peeking through the windows around them and there’s not a cloud in sight.

Renjun and Donghyuck moves past the abundance of different types of people—tourists, families, janitors—while trying not to collide with their bodies and luggage and consequently falling onto the floor. The last thing Renjun wants to worry is their faces on tabloids.

He hears a voice on the intercom announcing an arrival.

Donghyuck is pulling him by the arm towards the check-in counters where he said Mark and the band were, and Renjun is panicking because what if— what is he going to do if—

They come to a halt. “Not here,” he hears Donghyuck curse, “Come on—the departure gate.”

The beeping sounds are distant but it feels haunting, like the ticking of a clock.

When they get to Gate 7, they’re told the area is restricted for passengers only. Renjun feels his heart drop to his stomach. He hears the sound of an airplane taking off then a voice on the intercoms again.

Donghyuck isn’t satisfied, so he asks, “Has the 1:30 flight to LA taken off?”

“I believe so, sir,” the security nods, a sorry smile ghosting on her face when she turns to look at Renjun.

One last beep from somewhere, and then everything fades for him.

It’s a blur onwards—the surroundings, and every sounds from the _clickclacks_ of high heels of stewardesses to impatient tourists. He feels his eyes watering again, and he doesn’t have the energy to focus on anything.

_What if— What is he going to do if—_

He’s late.

The epiphany strikes him down. It’s 1:31 PM, red and yellow makes orange, he was born in the same year as his closest friends, and he’s late.

The fact punches him in his gut and the thought makes him want to hurl. He allows himself to cry.

There’s a hand on his shoulder, gripping, reassuring, “It’s going to be okay.”

He looks up at Donghyuck, “I have the worst timing.”

He tells him to sit down, take a breath. Everything is still indistinct and motionless, and Renjun can barely process being pushed into a seat somewhere near the gate. He can barely hear Donghyuck mutter a _thanks_ to the security. He can barely register a tissue being handed to him.

He doesn’t know what to do.

Lucas will come back in January but even then, Renjun feels like it would be too late.

The regret comes after. He had all the time in the world and yet, he’s pushed his soulmate away in fear. Lucas had liked him when he was seventeen, Renjun has fallen in love with him at nineteen. He’s blamed his father for falling out of love, he’s blamed himself for not stopping him.

He hurt Lucas.

_A fool is what I am—not my father, but a fool_, he thinks.

And then.

A familiar voice pierces through Renjun’s bubble, and then just like that, everything falls in place: colours fill the airport and he hears the low buzzing tone of people as they walk around.

There is a long, weightless second of silence before Renjun realizes it’s Kun yelling behind them. “Yangyang, how the _hell_ did you forget your passport.”

(It’s a second chance, Renjun will later conclude.)

Donghyuck sees them first, turning around, a hand still placed on his shoulder, “Hi.”

He hears Mark go _eh_, “Donghyuck, what are you— is that Renjun?”

Lucas asks, “_Renjun_?” and his voice feels like ice down his spine.

“Uh,” Renjun says. Wheezes. As he turns around, he’s wiping his tears. The tissue Donghyuck handed him is crumpled and damp.

“You’re crying,” Lucas comments, soft and worried.

Renjun doesn’t want to waste a second more.

He takes a tumbling step forward before he’s running towards him. His chest constricts and he feels like he could glow, feels like his heart is bursting like forest flames—rapid, quick, unstoppable. Lucas catches in his arms, like he’s done before, like he’ll do it again and again and _again_. When he stumbles into Lucas’ arms, the impact has them falling onto the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun says first, “I was an idiot. I believe in you. I believe in _us_. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it in the locker room all those years ago.”

Lucas looks like love, he really does. He’s strikingly beautiful. His hair is a lighter brown now. When he smiles, it feels like the world has stopped spinning on its axis to bask in it. “I’m just glad you’re not late—and that we had to reschedule our flight.”

Renjun laughs because he is in love—he is, he is, _he is_.

✰

(From above them, Yangyang proudly announces, “See, Kun? Fate gave me a reason to forget my passport.”

“I’m going to shave your head,” Kun says.

Hendery asks, “What did Renjun mean by locker room?”)

✰

The cold is unforgiving in February.

The wind that breezes against the ocean picks up and as it passes by Renjun, he concludes that it’s certainly and mercilessly icy, but he’s long learned that humans have fire in their hearts, so he’s not worried. He leans forward, resting his body against the wooden ledge.

Lucas wraps his arms around him. Renjun presses his lips against his, smiling. “Are you excited?”

His boyfriend lets out a breath, “Nervous is more like it. First actual tour. It’s crazy. I’m still not over people loving our album.”

Renjun hums, “I’m going to miss you when you go.”

The ocean across him sings and turns violet under the pink-orange sky.

“You’ll wait for me?” Lucas asks.

“I’ll be here,” Renjun answers.

The sun begins to set.

“Yeah?”

In this universe, Renjun doesn’t hesitate to say: “I love you.”

And _oh_, he thinks, what a lovely memory this is.

✰

_Fact_: Renjun is in love.

_Fact_: Lucas loves him, too.

_Reason_: They are not Prometheus, or the Gods. They are the humans who made a choice. They have fire in their hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching pride and prejudice during the last bit of the fic, so my writing kind of (more like really) fluctuated.
> 
> i kept hesitating whether to continue writing this or keep it in the drafts Forever but its here now, finished. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ this was two wips i abandoned back in 2017 but i merged them into one... /pumps fist into air/ for the luren nation! we will not starve! erika rizal shall live on!
> 
> find me here (>///<)  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiebff) | [tumblr](https://weonderful.tumblr.com/) | [cc](https://curiouscat.me/weonderlust) ♡


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